It's to be expected, but you are still seized by a crushing despair when the pain in your back begins to return, causing you to bend over from the red-hot spikes sticking into your lower vertabrae. The surge of strength and speed gifted to you by Sires Plant has finally worn off and, now, all you can do is stumble to your simple bed and collapse atop it.
You curl into a fetal position and, for a good many hours, you…simply… sleep.
Your dreams are full of stinky, spiky durian, curling ferns who are so shy they go back into hiding when touched, and tremendously tall evergreen trees. They are dreams of life, of renewal, of possibility, and of opportunity. You wander amid the greenery, tapping into the secret language of plants, and again wonder at how this whole world existed without you ever really realising it. Your dream-self merges with the flora, sinking into the warm, welcoming soil, allowing it to cocoon you as a caterpillar would in its chrysallis, or as a dormouse would wrap itself in a burrow until springtime.
The Earth is not scary. The sensation of dirt filling your mouth and nose reassuring. You now know of the nutrients packed within, of the tiny myriad of life that skitters and scrabbles amid microscopic granules of matter. Plant matter.
You feel whole even while you recognise your insignificance.
When you awake, back in your simple Personal Library, pages filled with letters pasted to the walls, you feel rejuvenated.
And you think of Sires Plant, once again. You reach for your red leather bound Tome, begin to look for a quill or brush to write with when you remember.
There is no need.
'Help.'
The words come smoothly, naturally. You will convey to Sires Plant what you hold in your heart, and you shall not be ashamed nor afraid.
Dear Guardian Sires Plant,
I have arrived safely in the Hub World thanks to your generous aid. Without your kindness I would have been unable to move and escape the sands that filled the tomb. Again, I am in your debt.
Speaking of the sands… I must apologise for not being able to stop them. We tried our best to block up the entrance, to prevent the scorching wind from blowing it inside, but… we were not strong enough. I was not strong enough.
However, I am getting stronger. The effort I put into not just stopping the sands, but setting up your chair in the Heart… is this not enough to prove my dedication to you, Sires Plant?
I am capable of so much more now than I was before I arrived at the Library, before I met you. And I can become even more capable if stationed by your side.
Please, have faith in my words. This is where I belong.
With affection,
Ser Sedulius Eriugena
As you speak, the words fill the pages of your Tome, the sheen of the wet ink quickly fading to set into the parchment. It is with a final sigh you sign your full name and title. Not to seem more important than you actually are, but to demonstrate that you are putting your entire self on the line.
With Sires Plant, you are not holding back. You would never dream of it.
You only have to wait a couple minutes, sitting cross-legged on your cot, until words, in all caps and with shaky lines, begin to appear in response.
Funnily, the handwriting reminds you of your own attempts at writing. Sires Plant is like you, then. You smile, and that smile widens as the texttospeech enchantment transfers the words from the page to your ears.
Dearest Sed,
I am grateful to hear from you and know you are safe. Your safety and that of the other Chosen is my top priority, even if the Library cannot make up its mind as to who or what to trust….
Your efforts in the last Incarnation were… beyond comprehension. Admirable is too… 'small' a word for it. Or my vocabulary is not yet large enough.
I… do not doubt what you say. Nor how you feel. I am sorry for questioning you so early on in this adventure of ours. I was wrong.
It was… unimaginable that someone as kind, earnest, and noble as you would wish to stay by my side… forever. But I will have faith. And you are right that it is your choice.
I, for one, will welcome you with open leaves as an official Library Employee if we can stop this cycle of destruction.
The words pause for a moment and you wait with bated breath. Your forehead beads with sweat and your hands have grown clammy from nervousness. Yet Sires Plant, once again, listened to what you had to say. It feels good to be heard. A very human sensation indeed.
To help you in the upcoming Incarnation… Take this, dearest Sed.
Suddenly, a Portal splashes open to your left, right in your Personal Library. You jump to your feet to watch as it shines a familiar white light, and something large and pointy begins to manifest from within.
A cylindrical metal base emerges first, followed by a long length of wood, and then the unmistakable steel head of a halberd. The metal is engraved with images of Guardians surrounded by fluttering books and waving trees.
You hold out both hands and the halberd falls into your waiting embrace. It is… surprisingly light for such an aggressive weapon. You had seen your fellow knights wield halberds in training bouts and tried not to imagine the dual-harm the blade could do - either impaling or slashing as its wielder deems fit.
But this halberd does not seem so cruel. It is from Sires Plant, after all. A holy weapon.
As your gaze runs down its length, you hear new words written in the Tome transform into audible speech:
The wood is hewn from yew and infused with poison, hemlock, and monkshood. Imbued with my power, you should have no issue wielding it, Sed. As you chose me, I also chose you.
Clutching the halberd close, you respond automatically, without even reaching for your Tome.
“Sires Plant… I… I don't know what to say. Other than… that I will use it well. I promise.”
Even without another word from your plant patron you believe the promise reaches them.
You know your purpose. Now, you must merely act on it.